Tag Archives: therapy

Is It Grief or Depression?

Patrick O’Malley wrote an article for The New York Times entitled, “Getting Grief Right.” O’Malley is a psychotherapist. His article is about the work that he did with a particular client, whom he refers to as, Mary.

Grief 2Mary lost her daughter to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or SIDS. She contacted O’Malley because he too lost a child and Mary thought that it would be helpful to work with someone who had an idea of what she was going through. She had gone through two therapists before contacting O’Malley.

During a session Mary asked, “’What is wrong with me? It has been almost seven months.’

Very gently, using simple, nonclinical words, I suggested to Mary that there was nothing wrong with her. She was not depressed or stuck or wrong. She was just very sad, consumed by sorrow, but not because she was grieving incorrectly. The depth of her sadness was simply a measure of the love she had for her daughter.”

Sometimes a client goes into therapy because they feel that they are reacting incorrectly or for too long, to a painful experience.

“To be sure, some people who come to see me exhibit serious, diagnosableGrief symptoms that require treatment. Many, however, seek help only because they and the people around them believe that time is up on their grief. The truth is that grief is as unique as a fingerprint, conforms to no timetable or societal expectation.”

If you have given yourself a timetable to overcome your grief, you may want to read O’Malley’s article in full. What did you learn? I’d love to know. You can contact me here.

How do you know if you need to see a Couples Counselor?

Upset couple with marital problems in bedWhen you’re having problems in your relationship, how do you address them? Do you ignore them? Do you confront your partner and say, “We really need to talk about…”? And how do you know if you need to see a couples counselor?

Susan Heitler, Ph.D., an author and relationship counselor, poses four questions about Couples Therapy in an article that she wrote for Psychology Today.

1. What is the real purpose of couples therapy and why is it useful?

2. What are the secrets for making a couples therapy succeed?

3. Recent studies and some therapists say that couples therapy for one partner can help to solve the conflicts in a relationship.  Do you believe this could help, or is it necessary for the therapist to interact with both partners?

4. Couples therapy exploded in the 70’s when the divorce rates started rising.  What is the actual state of couples therapy now: How has it changed, and is it less or more popular than at that time?

Happy couple on lavender fieldIf you want to know the answers to the questions, here is a link to that article. Reading the article may help you find the answers to your own questions. “Many couples hit rough spots in their marriage. Research has established that most of those who succeed in riding through the storm end up with highly satisfying marriages in the long run. “

Contact me to find out if Couples Therapy is right for you.